mother to mother

I can try to imagine the impotent rage and pain that I, as a mother would feel if my child was shot and killed by anyone, let alone a police officer. Knowing that nothing could bring my child back and wanting justice so deep in my core and knowing there really isn't any...and never will be. Add to that; racial tensions and the growing concerns that most Americans have about our police force and the power that we gave them, and that they are taking to the extreme, fueling the fire in me. In calmer moments, later, as a parent; I would maybe be able to sit down and see another point of view, but still, in my heart the anguish would be so great that to place even the tiniest amount of blame on my child would feel like a betrayal. Rage and grief and disbelief, shock and helplessness would rule me. I would lash out, I would collapse, I would scream, I would cry. I.WOULD.WANT.SOMEONE.TO.PAY. period. Being convinced that my child should still be standing, maybe facing some charges, but still alive, and knowing that this shouldn't have happened, hearing an acquittal would be a blow to the heart and gut, a monumental slap in the face in front of the world. Apparent proof that people really don't care. I would not want a camera in my face. I would not want the world judging me by my actions, and my words, and the grief and anger that I would be clothed in. I cannot say that I would not feel some vindication in the rage and anger that a group of people felt on my, and my child's behalf. I cannot say that I would not shout for destruction. I have no idea, because I have not dealt with it. But as I sit here crying and watching this mother, and attempting in some way to put myself in her shoes, I feel the vibration of injustice in my body. Multiply that by a thousand, and just maybe I would feel what this mother is feeling. I would always think there had to be a different way. I will never say that this woman is wrong in what she is feeling and how she is reacting. I will never say that Michael Brown had this coming. Since I am not his mother, I AM able to say that Officer Wilson reacted appropriately in the situation, according to testament. That does not change the facts. This is a tragedy. This is families torn apart and grief and pain that will always affect them. This should never have happened